You and your spouse are going your separate ways, but one of the last things you need to figure out is your parenting plan. While you would like to take the lion’s share and leave your partner with limited visitation, that might not be in your children’s best interest.
Studies have shown that sharing your parental responsibilities is better for your children, and not just when you’re all getting along. Conflict doesn’t play a major part when looking at important factors like your children’s ability to have quality family relationships compared to those in single-parent households. So while you may not want continued contact with your former spouse, there are some steps you can take for the sake of your kids.
Cooperative parenting
Continuing to share children after a divorce can be difficult, but successful co-parenting can rely on setting aside your differences in the best interest of the kids.
· Business relationship: Your relationship with your former partner doesn’t need to rely on an emotional connection anymore, but rather can take on a business-like quality. Keep communication clear, concise and respectful and expect the same of them.
· Contain conflict: When conflict does arise, attempt to handle it in a responsible way free of vitriol. Also, leave your children out of it, as this can lead to ill-will toward you or their other parent. Solves problems while thinking of your children, not thinking about winning or losing a fight.
· Stay supportive: Your children’s relationships with your ex is likely just as important as their relationship with you. Try not to overly belittle, criticize or undermine your former spouse for short-term gain, as it could end up costing big in the long run.
Sharing responsibility when it comes to your children may be what’s best for them. It’s not always the easiest to continue working with a spouse who you’re divorcing, but it could be better for your family in the long run.
